Is it important for couples to sleep in the same bed?

As a newlywed, Rick and I have enjoyed sharing a bed every night, discussing our days and winding down together with our nightly routines (teeth, face, hair, lotion on feet, water with ice next to bed....).  We don't always cuddle but try and touch feet or even hold hands (I know it's silly).  However, we have learned that several of our friends choose not to sleep in the same bed for various reasons and seem to love this arrangement.  I've often wondered how many married couples share this preference for sleeping separately. According to report on GMA this morning, 1 in 4 couples sleep separately, that's more than I thought.  The full video is on the side of my main page.  I would love to hear your comments as well---agree/disagree?

How to get your husband to vacuum

Chicken and veggie wheat pasta

My dinner planning for this week had to be for two weeks with one meal lasting 2 1/2 days and the other being frozen to eat next week.  That is a lot of organization for someone who doesn't really cook.  Plus, mom in law was planning to stop by for the first time in two months so the pressure was on to clean and impress (not that she requires this at all, more of my own neurosis)!   So I decided to make ground turkey stroganoff to freeze and a chicken and veggie wheat pasta to hold us over the rest of this week.  I will post more on the stroganoff next week when it looks less frozen and more edible.

The best thing about this meal is that you can add ANY veggie or meat you want.  I think I will do shrimp, spinach and artichokes next time.  Just get creative, taste as you go and I promise it will be a hit.  My husband ate so much the first night that we don't have enough leftovers for tonight.

• 3 cooked chicken breasts cut into bite size pieces
• box of wheat pasta cooked
• can of black olives
• carton of cherry tomatoes cut in halves
• cooked asparagus
• almonds
• packet of herb dressing mix
• 2 tablespoons olive oil

Bonus points for a good meal is a husband asking if there is anything he can do to help me since his mom is on her way.  SCORE! I then listed a few "hard to reach" (sucks beings short) things for him to complete and tacked on vacuuming, my LEAST favorite chore.  Happy tummy = big smile while cleaning!

He is so handsome when cleaning!

Quicksand or freedom?

Have you found yourself in a serious rut lately? Although my personal life has been changing at the speed of light, my professional life has taken on the irresistible flavor of BLAND!  Don't get me wrong, before I left my job in Jacksonville I had enough challenges to fill up at least 90 hours of my week and was up for any number of possible promotions, however, the original passion I felt when I started my journey 10 years ago is gone.....and has been gone a LONG time.

I have a theory I am not alone in this feeling of apathy, boredom, and discontent, so why aren't people making a change? The sad flip side to this predicament is that this economy has made making any kind of professional move feel like an almost sure step into financial quicksand.  I imagine you sitting at your desk at the end of a particularly rough 14 hour day and thinking, "I simply cannot come back to this chair tomorrow, I won't put up with these unreasonable (hours, pay, verbal abuse, _______) another day! But I have a job......and I just heard Cindy was laid off on Friday...and Stacy has been unemployed for 14 months...and where would I go, no one is hiring. I don't want to do this anymore anyway, I want to do something DIFFERENT! But what?"  I would know, I did the same tug of war for in my head for the last two years.

Since I can't change the struggling economy overnight, let's focus on that last part, "I want to do something different, but what?!?"  Be honest with yourself for a moment, if you could have any choice of careers right now, what would you do? It's the age old question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  Doctor, lawyer, astronaut, and ballerina were classic answers when we were little, but our choices are absolutely endless now making it even harder to figure out.  We have to stop using the economic situation as our excuse and admit, we don't know what we want to be!

If the overwhelming career options don't paralyze you, then the obsession with perfection certainly will!  Our fear of failing can be the largest road block to even figuring out what we want to do much less putting together an action plan.  This fear is compounded even more with all the sad stories happening all around us.  The only way to truly find out what you want to do is to let yourself dream as if failing isn't an option.  This is something I have to practice consciously daily and sometimes even hourly, I ask myself "Am I truly experiencing ______ or am I letting my fears/self-conscience thoughts hinder me?"

I am challenging myself to think beyond my own fear and the fear of financial quicksand and start dreaming of what I can become.  I want to be ready to change and know how to recognize the opportunities when they come my way.  Here are some steps I am taking to reinvent Stephanie.  I would love to hear more ideas!

1. Start writing down things that you love. Sounds simple, but if you do this daily then a pattern will begin to show. Write down EVERYTHING, not just things you would assume are professional/career oriented.  
2. Take notice of when you feel envious of someone and figure out why. What does that person have/do that you want so badly?  For example, does it kill you to see your sister traveling to a different state each month with nurse career? Would you want to travel with your job?
3. Play What-if and really let yourself play out those scenarios (no fear).  
4. Get out of your comfort zone! Taking on a new activity, visiting a new place, meeting new people; these are all actions that make you escape your normal routine and might just jump start or inspire change. 

For me, starting this blog has been my "get out of comfort zone" action, apparently moving to a new state and changing my last name weren't enough change to get this gal in action!  I am finding new inspiration through the blogs I read every day and am so very grateful to finally be on my way to change.

Chicken Tetrazzini for a week!

Rick couldn't wait to eat,
even skipped his run!

I've decided to take on the responsibility of meal planning and cooking during the week since I am not working full time right now.  The irony is that Rick actually wanted to be a chef at one point and is a MUCH better cook than I.  I have some basic criteria when picking out what to cook for the week which include:

• not too many and affordable ingredients
• relatively healthy
• not too many steps or complicated, because I would likely screw it up
• Filling and satisfying, otherwise we are back in the kitchen snacking before bed.

I would like to share with you my adventures in learning to cook in hopes you will benefit from my attempts and also hope you share with me some of your tips. 

My adventure this week is a healthier/easier version of my mom's Chicken Tetrazzini.

• 1 package wheat spaghetti
• 2 8 oz. cans/jar sliced mushrooms
• 4 cups Chicken broth-I use 4 low sodium boullion cubes (dissolve in 4 cups boiling water per directions)
• 12 oz Evaporated Milk
• 4 Tablespoons Flour
• 4 Tablespoons butter/margarine
• 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
• dash pepper
• pinch salt
• 4 cooked chicken breasts
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese (I used low fat green can Parmesan cheese)

1. Cook spaghetti as directed on package and drain. Add mushrooms to the cooked pasta.
2. At the same time, chop up chicken into bite size pieces and cook chicken breasts on low-medium heat in skillet all the way through, remove from skillet.
3. In skillet, melt butter and blend in flour
4. Gradually stir in chicken broth stirring constantly until sauce boils and thickens (not very thick)
5. Remove from heat; stir in evaporated milk, salt, nutmeg and pepper.
6. Add half the sauce to the spaghetti and mushrooms.
7. Add chicken to the rest of the sauce.
8. Place spaghetti in greased 12x8 glass casserole dish
9. Put chicken on top of spaghetti in the center.
10. Sprinkle parmesan cheese on top of dish
11. Bake at 375 degrees uncovered 30-40 minutes or until lightly browned.

This dish will feed 2 people for 3-4 days and is even better leftover! You can also make ahead of time and place in refrigerator to be reheated.   Add a bag of SteamFresh veggie and you have a healthy meal for several days! 

How did I get here?

Rick's MAJOR boo boo

Ever feel like Dorothy in the land of Oz?  Life has whirled around me like a tornado over the last year and yet has gracefully dropped me down into this fairytale life.  Not to say that life hasn't always had mini tornado moments, but nothing compares to the life altering changes of 2010.  For documentation purposes, because I will surely forget the details, here are all the important life changing dates so far:

• January 1 - first visit to Greensboro with boyfriend, Rick Kohn.  Actually first visit to North Carolina since I was 2.
• February 6 - Rick pops the question and our official story begins.
• March 18-21 - Rick and I drive back to Greensboro for an internal interview he has with BB&T.
• April 1 - Rick receives official offer for BB&T promotion which would relocate us from Jacksonville, FL to Winston Salem, NC
• April 5 - Rick accepts the offer for the promotion and we begin negotiating start date.
• April 9 - Our offer on a townhome in Winston Salem is accepted. FYI-we have never even seen the place!
• April 10 - Rick breaks both bones in his right forearm in a cycling accident.
• April 12 - I give my month notice to employer
• May 5 - Hire attorney to close on the townhome for us-Homeowners YEA!
• May 6 - All our stuff is packed by moving company
• May 7 - Trucks arrive to relocate everything. We clean our separate places, pack up car with both dogs and drive ALL the way to Winston Salem to see our new townhome for the very first time.
• May 10 - Rick's first day in new job
• May 11 - Our stuff is finally delivered to new townhome so I spend the rest of the week unpacking and cleaning.
• June 2 - I start business, Dance Trance Winston Salem at the Gold's Gym
• June 25 - Wedding-Rooster and Butter's adventure begins!

Since I've never been married before I had no idea what to expect, would I feel different: would we be different now, would I instantly turn into a fat nagging hag, would he get a beer belly and suddenly find an interest in watching sports and video games?

As the days have unfolded, our experiences have helped to build confidence and trust between us. Although we have a LONG way to go (two months married doesn't make you wise and experienced), I wanted to find a way to share my discoveries as Rick/Rooster and I/Butter start our journey in Winston Salem, married and in love.